I am a pessimist. I struggle everyday to overcome my pessimism, but I usually loose. So I wonder am I just a negative person, was I born this way, or was it my upbringing? Really I feel like it is a toss up. I think it could go either way or maybe a little of both.
My parents (my mom & step-dad, who I lived with growing up) are two of the most negative people I know. They can always highlight the bad in any situation, and take a doomsday approach to life. As in the world is going to shit, we are all going to die.
The thing is I cannot remember a time when I wasn't a "glass half empty" girl. Even as a child I was negative, as far as I can remember. I've never been a "happy" person. In fact as a child my favorite books (after I finished the Boxcar Children series, we are talking like 8-10yrs old) were about kids with cancer who die. Seriously, I had quite a few of them they are all by the same author, and I LOVED them. They were very sad and every one of them made me cry my eyes out. At the end of the book I would be devastated because I came to love the characters so much, but they all ended the same. Now that I'm writing this I realize that is kinda fucked up. I mean what 10 year old kid wants to read about children with cancer who die if they have no life experience with cancer? And more importantly what parent doesn't think it is a little strange that their 10 year old reads depressing books like that?
I hate being a negative nellie, but I am not sure how to change it.
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